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As a manager of 200 security personnel, talking about emotions was something I would never have imagined being OK with. Keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself was important, otherwise staff and customers who didn’t like my decisions might use them against me.

In August 2016, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer – a complete shock as it showed on a scan for something else.

I can only describe hearing the ‘C word’ as feeling like my legs were taken away from the knees down. At the time, my wife and I had a two-year-old and she was 14 weeks pregnant. In the following weeks I really needed to offload but felt like I wanted to protect my family, as I could see they were hurting. When I first met Anna,* a counsellor provided by Macmillan Cancer Support, it was difficult to start talking. But somehow – it felt like by magic – she managed to put me at my ease and within five minutes it all came out. These sessions helped me see things more clearly, and I began to understand that painful emotions were definitely better out than in.

I was rediagnosed in January 2018 and told the cancer was incurable. We were all devastated, but one of the first things I did was contact Anna, and again, hey presto, the magic happened. I then found out I was fortunate to qualify for a treatment funded by The Christie charity, which provides enhanced services over and above what the NHS funds. It was, however, a treatment described as ‘brutal’ – the consultant said I didn’t have to do it if I thought it would be too tough. In the safety of the counselling room, with the core conditions met by Anna, I was able to process the prospect of the treatment. During one session I had a light-bulb moment that, should I get through this, I too could help people as Anna was helping me.

In September 2018, I was advised I was in remission and have been since. I immediately enrolled on an introduction to counselling course. I followed that with a level three course, and then decided to apply to do a degree in counselling.